Thursday, February 7, 2008

Tales from the 4th grade halls

Here we go...
The past two days I've been subbing in 4th grade classrooms (not to mention being in a 4th grade class on Monday and last week, when a students wrote "cunt ass" on the bathroom sign out sheet- that's right.) Yesterday was more than difficult, to say the least, and the two hours I was subbing in a 4th grade class today were less than joyful- a teacher came up to me and said, "You have that class? Well, I'm sure you learned that they are more than a handful." Yes they are! Of course, the teacher inside me can't help love them no matter what, but I'm very much in need of some Zen after the past two days. So, I treated myself to some better than perfect Stumptown coffee at New Seasons today. Zen, coffee, same diff.
To reflect on these experiences, I've composed a little list I call, "Reasons I'm Glad I am No Longer in 4th grade". This list sums up some of the experiences I've had that make me say, "Is it time to go home yet?" and "That goodness I'm not a 9/10 year old."

Enjoy reflecting on my past two days...

"Reasons I'm Glad I am No Longer in 4th grade"

1. There are no girls that start a rumor about you having lice and make you cry in the corner.
2. You are not surrounded by boys passing notes that say "Your (notice the spelling of your) a dick."
3. I'm no longer afflicted by the boy (usually wearing a basketball jersey with a smerk on his face and of course, is totally cute) who the teacher totally wastes energy on by yelling at him to get work done- all day long.
4. Being awkward in daily life is a personality trait at 22, where at 10 it's a hazard.
5. People don't pick their noses.
6. People don't shove each other for saying, "Hey what are you doing?"
7. There is no longer 20 page fraction packets that the lazy teacher prints offline to fill time.
8. The constant "teacher, he did this, teacher, she did something she's not supposed to!" is not ringing in my ear.
9. Boys don't eat erasers, paper, staples, pencils or kleenex and then spit it in girls' hair.
10. Not being in 4th grade means I don't have to care if my hair is frizzy, my pants are too baggy, I don't wear make up yet, I don't own the Chris Brown CD or if things people do are "so gay".

Thank you for reminding me that high schoolers are mature, well at least in comparison to the poor, lost, awkward beings in the 4th grade.

P.S. I still love subbing.

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