Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Why the gym is more like a bar

In between Newsweekarticles at the gym, I realized that the gym is more like a bar.
I know, you're thinking they have nothing in common: one is a place to work off beer and the other is a place to drink it.
That's where you're wrong.
While the amount of alcohol consumed is significantly lower in a gym, so many other factors are shared.
For one, when I go to a bar, the ridiculously thick waft of perfume and cologne that shoots up my nostrils makes me wish that Tommy Hilfiger had gone into construction. Likewise, I almost died of suffocation today will running next to a lady sporting Prostitute Number 5.
Not enough of a similarity for you?
Do you ever notice that in a gym and in a bar the same creepy men are staring at every rack in the joint?
How about those dozens of people in the bar/gym who look more dressed for a magazine ad than a work-out or evening of drinks?
I personally love to catch those people who stand in the gym/bar and look for the perfect person to sit/work-out next to before committing to a location.
Think about the nosiy bar/gym goers...
Whether they're talking loudly so the girls at the corner booth can hear that they "really buffed up this week" or the dude is grunting in the corner of the gym after lifitng three times his body weight: show offs.
Both locations make you pay an insane amount of money to waste time and feel lousy about yourself when the girl with the raccoon eyes and balloon lips goes home with the number of the Matthew McConaughey's look alike.
Bars and gyms both play silly rave music hoping to entice people to remember that "THIS is the place to be!"
Finally, what gym and what bar doesn't make you think twice before going out in your boring jeans or crappy t-shirt because you never know who you'll run into?

One final note...
While at the gym, I saw Pres Bush on TV and although I drowned out his talking, he was making the weirdest faces. He squinted his eyes like models do. You know, "Smile seductively with your eyes", as Tyra always says.
Well, Mr. Pres, you did a pretty good job. I heard Tyra is planning on making a season of "ANTM: past presidents and old men" I'll be sure to give her your number.

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